to sing over you is my delight..

catch me there! (:

WAHhhhh this place is like filled with dust particles and cobwebs!!!!! first time in a long time that i'm actually back here blogging (: i bet no one even visits this place anymore! Every time that I suddenly feel like blogging, I find myself not knowing what to say! haha. Like how i feel right now. I can't for the life of me figure out how to do up livejournal templates. i feel like switching back to blogger cos lj is so ugly!!!!!

but anyhow. for those who still don't know, I'm contract teaching now (: It's been quite a ride, what with the quarter-life crisis and trying to figure out what to do what my life :S At times it was really hard, all the questioning God as to why call me away from PwC to nothing. Why just call me away from something and to anything else. All the sending resumes till I got desperate and started going for interviews for things I was totally uninterested in zzz. I guess it's all an experience and you learn from it. I feel like i wasted a lot of effort on redundant stuff though cos I still ended up teaching in the end haha.

Being in school has been nice but challenging. I guess that's how working life is. I don't think that I'm allowed to blog too much about school though so if you wanna find out more you can ask me (: I'll be more than glad to tell you. In fact, if you're from my church, I think there's a lot about another world that you should know so pleaseee ask me! hhaha. I want more to know so that, in dennis' words, we can really think about the way we do ministry in church and whether the church is relevant to this group of people. i'm really starting to see ministry in a different light. Even the way I talk has to change and I sometimes feel very ashamed at the standard of my chinese :(

One thing though, is that I still keep subconsciously spotting areas for ministry. and everytime that I do, I really really feel like becoming full-time staff. I mean not so soon lah, but that's really still my heart's desire. Sometimes I wonder why I have such strong desires to go full-time. I don't think it's because I"m holier than anyone or anything, there're tons of "holier" people I know who don't want to go full-time. I can't say for sure, but I think that perhaps it's a desire placed by God. It doesn't make you any more godly or holy, just a desire to use your life to serve Him. And as Eugene would say, cling lightly to your possessions! haha as each pay check comes in, okay fine only one has so far, I find it even harder to wanna go full-time cos of the $$$$$$$$. haha. It's a drastic pay-cut. I can't imagine people who gave up their careers mid-way!! But I really cannot imagine anything else that I'd wanna do more than to join staff! Oh well,  for all I know I might end up there sooner than I think/plan to (:

oooh this is a long post! but I have just one more thing to say!!!!!

SNOOZE is going to INDIA!!!!


I'll be gone 11-20th December (yeah i'll miss youth camp :( ) Please keep us in prayer(: It would be great if you could support me financially too cos for one, I just started work and I dont quite have enough to go on my own, and two, I think it's a great opportunity for you to be a "Sender" and to challenge yourself to support and be involved in mission work! please let me know if you wanna receive our email updates while we're in India too! You guys were great support the last time I went to Thailand (: haha so I know i can count on you! (:

To support financially or in prayer or to receive email updates: Email crysoh@gmail.com

my head hurts from crying too much after watching a walk to remember:S i remember crying like mad after reading it a few years back. really made me think about what it'd be like to lose someone you love. a horrible feeling :( but thank God for the good times that we have (:

hahaha i found this incredibly funny.

after jiehui added me on msn...
i laughed really loudly as usual. but this seriously cracked me up today! :D hello jiehui! 

hellllooo mingest (: you have to click "add crryyss as a friend" on the bar on top first then i'll add you back as a friend so that you can read the locked stuff. thank you youuu so muchh for talking to me that day. really felt great to know that someone else has been through this and actually has the same thoughts as i do about these things (: i reallyyy felt very comforted after talking to you that day. and it's really strange how you probably talked a lot to val before you made your decision and prob told me stuff that she told you that day. welllllll, just last sunday we had thanksgiving in church and val was sharing some stuff but i kinda stopped listening after one line she said and then i wouldn't stop crying after that. like i really couldn't no matter how hard i tried.

EDIT! because I was too sleepy to go on last night but there're more I need to thank (: actuallyy.. i don't even know if they even read this. hah.

there are other things that i wanna blog about but because it's new year's eve.. every end of the year warrants a good entry to thank those who've been so great (:
always in my heart (: i cannot think of another group of friends that i can have more fun with and yet still be able to share my heart with (: thank you.. for making church so much more fun and for making serving seem more worth it (:
to belly: i realllllly don't want you to go :( it's likee we've always been close but never this closee right? being able to share and encourage each other this much (instead of just gossiping heh) i thank God for you(: for using you to knock sense into me and to encourage me when I feel that there's nothing I can do. go be a blessing in Denmark too! (: will pray for you about your church!

this photo is getting old! we should take a nice one again some time. anywayy, happy belated best friend day hahaha. glad to have you back (: and i'm glad that this year we really made it a point to stay close even whilst being apart (: thank you mostly, for praying for and with me.. even when i don't ask! (:
spidermonkey! i wonder if you even read this. but stillllll you know that i'm thankful for you anyhow. i'm afraid that if i go on, this whole entry will sound cliche... but you like long emo letters that will make you cry right??? hahaha. ok lahh thank you.. for always paying for me when i'm broke (or when you think i'm broke).. i will repay you one day somehow. ahhahah. and for calling me so you have company on your boring train rides. i bet you could sense the tinge of sarcasm in that statement but ok lahhh.. thanks for talking to me on my boring bus rides! oh and for always updating me about the economy hahaha. (:

uncle looney! *hums looney tunes song* ok lahhh i smsed you already. just put your photo here to yi si yi si only hahaha. but really you've no idea how thankful i am to have a close christian friend in hall (: too bad i've only a sem left. let's treasure it! more jamming to comeee.. plus studying too of course. rah! seeya back in hall soon!

sometimes passing remarks can really get to you. no, i'm not talking about things like "oh you've put on weight" or "i heard the train crash during worship this morning". someone told me that my dad told him "crystal can be very successful if she wants, but she's not ambitious".

don't get me wrong, i don't fault him and i totally understand why he would say something like that. in factt i'm very thankful for every time God has blessed me during my 3 years in uni considering the amount of effort I put into my studies and the job hunt. but that line just kinda hurt me in a wayyy.. not that i was upset that someone had said that i wasn't ambitious.. but i was just wondering, why does it mean that i'm not ambitious simply because my ambitions are different?

really.. from the bottom of my heart, even if it sounds short-sighted, i honestly cannot understand what there is in a high paying job with good prospects that I don't enjoy. sometimes i wish God would make it clear to me, like "Crystal, go to the fields for me" or something.. then at least I know where to start, where to go, what's ahead. but all I have is this job offer that I don't really want (but am thankful for given the horrid financial crisis) and a desire to make Him known.

i don't want to be the same as everyone else. i don't want to go the big 4 route because everyone else is and because everyone around me tells me to. Even if i do go, I want to go because I know that that is where God wants me, the same way I knew that He wanted me to choose accoutancy over everything else I had planned for myself when I applied for uni. I don't want to be the same. I can't ignore the frustrations I feel knowing that the people I love around me, the people I hang out with, and tons of other people I don't know yet, don't know Christ. I can't ignore how when walking the streets of macau and seeing the headlines about Bombay pains my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

and sometimes.. i wish people would understand that. that it's not about me being short-sighted or just not wanting to work hard. It's really hard to make choices when you hear the same thing everywhere you go, this and that has good prospect etc etc and I know that it shouldn't always matter.. what they say.. but fact is, it does matter what!

my ambition: to make Him known
and i pray that that will never change.
Here I am, send me - big 4, commercial sector, anywhere else.
cos the world is hurting, and I refuse to stand by and watch it.
(i have too much energy for that heh (: )

so much has been happening around here. and i'm so glad that recess week is here.. i'm cherishing every moment of it, even if i'm studying. these 2 months are like months of reminiscing because all the childhood friends are somehow born within these 2 months or so. makes you feel happy and warm inside and yet sometimes a bit sian cos most of my really close friends are all overseas. rrrahhh.

( yiiimo.. )</div></div>

yes i am really sick of being sick. I've been in this state since monday :S

I've been having gastric flu since monday. and it's killing me! cos if you know me.. no matter how tired/ headachey/sick i am.. i always find a way to run around and still go for stuff and get things done. but gastric flu is different man.. when you're down you're down! so yes.. i've been stuck in bed for foreverrrrr!

ok not quite. cos i thought i was better on tuesday night so i went for my band's full dress rehearsal. NOT SMART CRYSTAL. cos i felt so horrible that night and ended up feeling even more miserable the next day! and i still tried to go for lecture zzzz. then the fever kicked in, saw the doc again and last night i got diarrhoea. RAHhhhhhhhh.

i've learnt my lesson.. never doing this again. sick means stay home and SLEEP. but i can't take the fact that i've missed lessons. arghhhhh. i don't like to be behind!! :( helpppp me!

The cycle of school has started all over again. and I must say that I've enjoyed every single bit of it! (: I have done nothing but play and play in school man.. but Thursday I got a wake up call at my first seminar.. ohdearme. I will start work tmw! final year already still have to study. gah!




BOY THAT WAS ONE LONG ENTRY! (:

oh mann.. every time i get my payy i just let all my money go loose! yesterday i went make up shopping and today i almost splurged at HMV. HMV really has this way of sucking you in and making you want to buy everything you see! so much so that after picking up 3 cds i didn't dare to look at the racks at all anymore (note that i didn't buy them all. no i'm not THAT spendthrift). i realllllllllly wanted ot get them all. but i decided that one cd is enough of a treat after getting my pay. faint... talk about self-control! i  think i'll change my grown-up hobby from collecting barbie dolls (hah i bet you would've never guessed! i have a total of ONE in my collection haha) to collecting CDs. i'll confirm spend a lot on CDs or hopefully by then there'll be an easier way to buy singles and on concerts. for some reason i don't wanna spend on shoppign for clothes already. hahah.. i am determined not to buy a lot more working clothes cos i've only a few more weeks of internship left.. and i've still a lot of new clothes from bangkok. must CONTROLllllllllllllllllllll.  :( and i still want a camera and my guitar pickup. oh my mamaa faintttttttt.

it's really more tiring to be doing nothing at all than to be doing something. today my colleague was passing around this chocolate bar named "Energy" and the intern next to me happily reminded me that i don't need any cos i didn't use any energy up. -_- zzz...

but i'm on project next week!111 i cannot express how happy i am (: actually i'm supposed to be on project now.. but for a different unit. so work never comes to me :( i think everyone in office knows how bored i am cos i keep walking around and everytime someone comes over and asks for help i will jump and say "I"M FREE!" haha.

results were out last night and i was like this --> :( for most of the night and morning. i don't think it's ever been this bad. i mean the overall grade is fine.. but individually.. it's really disappointing. i knew it mann.. the harder you study the worse it becomes because you just cna't study too hard for open book exams! :( backfired! and then the silly bbdc people didn't tell me to bring my pdl from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor to update my status with bbdc. i was so furious!!! they have major refining to do for their system man! grr. i was like complaining on the phone to them in the office. hahaha. i think i scared the intern next to me already. he was like "i think you're overreacting to your grades." and "were you scolding them on the phone?". HAHAHAHA.. i didn't scold scold cos like it was the office ya know.. but i was kinda sarcastic. cos seriouslyyy??? if i tell you the full story you'll be mad. zzz

i can't believe the no. of things i've gotten myself into outside work. :( not again mannn. now there's tonnes of planning and preparation to do. i always tend to overcommit. :( HELLPPP

ring ring ring ring banana phone!

hahah.. no it's not a toy.. or an antiqueee.. it's a REAL PHONE!
inez took this at alina's 21st! which i was very late for.. but doens't matter cos we stayed till like 3 playing all those board games.
i was really tired.. but i really had a lot of good laughs.. and it's been a while since i've had that. i was actually very desperate to go to minds cafe hah.. and i got what i wanted at the party! whoo!

oh ya.. back to the phone.. it functions like a normal handphone.. ,like simbien (spelt like that?) mode i think and SMS and all that. SUPER COOL! the thing is that the phone doesn't have to be big.. so most of what you see above is the battery!! hahaha so it can last for 2 weeks!!! hahahah. ok i'm still very amused at it.

and yes my eyes look smaller in this photo cos i accidently blew my nose too hard and believe it or not it made something go into my eye (gloreejoy and dr gong said so!) and i really suffered almost the whole day for it! hence the really red eye.


yess and what would an american idol final be like without me posting about it. heehee. hahah.. i thought this whole season wasn't too good compared to the other seasons..not until finals night! archuleta came out of nowhere mann. he was (for lack of better words.. and also to copy randy) DA BOMB! but maybe cos i'm biased.. he sang elton john! (haha see where the bias comes in) and it was supremelyyyyyy good. so i was REALLY upset when i found out that he didn't win.. but then thinking about it.. throughout the season.. cook was probably the better one.. but if everything were banked on the finals.. confirm plus chop archuleta was better. ok lahhh but it's all over.. and this american idol fan will go back to just watching youtube until season 8 comes out!! i'll be very happy then. haha.

i thought i'd be very free during my internship period.. why do i always underestimate my free time? i'm not that busy with work. .but like i do't know why i don't have time to do a lot of things. every morning when i get onto the train i feel like i just entered this different zone.. "RAT RACE ZONE" and it's there that it all starts. limping around in heels with blisters and wearing uncomfortable, ugly and expensive clothes (zzz). drinking coffee to keep yourself awake and looking at big sheets of paper with super tiny numbers on them. i'm really thinking about what i wanna when i graduate. and something tells me very strongly that it's not this. i don't wanna get eaten into it.. spending minimal time with God (i know not every working person does.. i speak for myself), not having time to spend with loved ones(ok not now but i foresee it if i become perm staff), no time to think about ministry. this ain't for me. :(

but tmw's the weekend : D gonna sleep a lot!!! and hit GSS!!!!!

ok over and out people!

2 new things on my first day at work!

1. "In God we trust. All others we audit"
2. first day of work also can OT! 

ahhaha.. i was sniggering in my corner during training today. at all the silly quirks of our trainers. and i got off work at 1030pm today! on my first day at work! haha.. i can hear belly sniggering whilst reading this, and remembering her post of her slack schedule and half an hour washroom breaks. HAHAHAHHA.

but free dinner, free cab home.. not too bad lah. at least i know that i got what i asked for. i asked for a steep learning curve and to really get to see what the industry's like. i got it on my first day. hahha. the only sian part was that i missed a crusade meeting. ohwell. :(

let's see how tmw goes!

haha my blog is so dead. zzz... so yeah it's been exams for the past few weeks. it finally ended on mondayy and the first thing i did was to get to jurong point to CUT MY HAIR! hahah.. been dying to do it for forever! and i think this time everyone will be able to tell the difference cos it's really quite a bit shorter. :( i didn't wanna change the length cos i wanna grow it real longg but the guy said that it's better to cut the roots cos it'll be healthier. well he cut quite a bit off so yeah :( 

so one big thing i've been doing since exams.. haha.. is PACKING AND CLEANING. i was really motivated and i cleaned out my WHOLE ROOM at home.. after cleaning out everything from hall. O_O faintt. but as i expected.. i need a few days to get the room at home done.. so it's still not finished.. haha. i threw out 4 huge plastic bags of stuff. i still had my O level worksheets.. can you believee thatt? 

but in other news.. i'm going to BKK tmw! (: i'm sorry if i can't buy stuff back for people cos i've stuff to buy for the other 3 girls(incl. my mum) at home already and i'm not bringing much $$. haha no moneyy already. hoping that i'll be able to save some on my attachment. everything's moving by so fast.. i just wanna stay in my newly cleaned room and sleep. ahhaha. although i wanna do tonnes of catching up before work begins. :S i get back on wed. i know andre and bel read this so please go plan some outing for when i get back leh. hahah thank you many many.

ok back to pack pack pack.

welcome to LJ everybodyy!!!!

i can't believe i spent 2 hours of studying time on this silly blog.. zzz... and i gave in to lj. cos blogger won't allow me to choose entries to lock. blogger really needs to up its game man.

yep so i'm gonna lock some entries so please comment if you're a friend! (:

106 words

Speedtest

EDIT I tried again and i typed 109 words per min. position 4000++ out of 1.5 million O_O